June 30

The other night I had a strange dream. You know, one of those dreams that lingers in your mind for days. I've decided to exercise it from my brain by sharing it with you. Feel free to draw whatever conclusions you might have about me and my subconscious.

For whatever reason I am at my previous place of employment. An office. It's different from what I remember, there are few people I recognize and more employees than before. I decide they are students, suckers for the summer, working quietly away barely noticing me. As I make my way through the desks and computers I see someone I think I know, the legal assistant. Her back is to me and as I reach down to touch her shoulder I realize it's not who I thought. The girl turns towards me, confused.

"Charity!"

I turn quickly, relieved by the distraction.

There's the CFO of the company, in a small room on the floor, leading a yoga class. Wow, this place has really progressed since I left, I think to myself.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

I blink a moment, forgetting exactly why I'm here. "I came to see Nadine," I said, knowing it was a lie but unsure of anything more appropriate to say.

"Nadine doesn't work here anymore," he tells me as he pulls his left leg close to his face. The others in the room, more people I don't recognize, follow his lead. I nod and leave, embarrassed by all the spandex.

Suddenly I'm downstairs. I quickly say hello to the president of the company as he walks through the lobby, pretending to have important things to do. I know better but am relieved I don't have to try and explain why I'm back at the office, which is still a mystery to me.

Then my nose starts to run. This is normal. My nose is always runny. I keep wiping it with my hand, as I usually do. I realize after the third or fourth swipe my hand is covered with thick, creamy snot. I notice then it's also all over my shirt. I run to the washroom wondering how long I've been walking around covered in my own slime.

As I look in the mirror, preparing to take care of business, I realize that my nose has swollen up with snot. Not like regular snot or even head-cold snot but snot that's thick and whipped like butter. I tilt my head up to get a better look. Yup, looks exactly like butter, nostrils full to the brim. As I tilt my head back down I realize my nose and upper lip have grown and enlarged, swollen and grotesque. I lift my upper lip up to assess the situation further and there's a lump the size of a golf ball surrounded by a mess of tiny blood vessels, a little blood-red octopus with a thousand miniture tentacles.

This is bad.

As I leave the bathroom, deciding I can make my way to the walk-in clinic, I can feel my little cephalopod bounce and squirm with each step. This feeling makes me nauseas and sends panic up my throat, closing it over. I try to stay calm, pretending this weird lump is nothing serious. But I can't breathe and the clinic is in Dartmouth. Just stay calm, I think. Everything is going to be ok.

Then I wake.

(I think it's a sign from my subconscious telling me that I am allergic to work).